Via Norbizness I have discovered what might be the greatest contest ever. Pick five songs from your music collection which, taken together, comprise the shittiest mix tape of music ever. I am afraid I can’t possibly win this contest since several current entries destroy any potential combination I could muster (check the link – 2 Hulk Hogan songs, one of which, along with the worst song I’ve ever heard, didn’t even make the guy’s top 5). However, here’s my best effort:
1)Eagles – Love Will Keep Us Alive
This song pretty much destroyed my ability to listen to the any Eagles song.
2) Elton John/Kiki Dee – Don’t Go Breaking My Heart
Using 70′s duets should probably be against the rules of the contest
3) David Geddes – Run Joey Run (lyrics only)
I used to think this song was funny-bad. I was wrong. It’s bad-bad.
I’m cheating a little here, but I really, really hate songs attempting to glorify Rock & Roll. Seems to me that these songs were all recorded at a time when Rock & Roll was on the decline (if not completely dead).
UPDATE: The video for “We Built This City” is so bad that it manages to make a shitty song much worse (Abe Lincoln? WTF?)
5) Michael Murphy – Wildfire (lyrics only)
Some of the worst lyrics ever. Songs that tell a story are usually either very very good (Hurricane; Don’t Stand So Clsoe to Me; Pancho & Lefty) or very very bad (Run Joey Run; Jack & Diane). This song clearly falls under the latter category. The fucking horse dies from a “killing frost” for christ’s sake.
BONUS TRACKS (Because I couldn’t include all my crappy hair band singles)
6) Whitesnake – Is this Love
7) Van Halen – How Do I Know When It’s Love
8) Mr. Big – To Be With You
9) Journey – Faithfully; Wheel in the Sky (Armageddon Soundtrack anyone?)
10) Foreigner – Hot Blooded
11) Boston – Higher Power
12) Bad English – When I See you Smile